wait for the good to come.
aren’t i worthy?
excuses that fill my head
while laying restless at 3 AM.
love in all its forms must be
strengthened. career and
creativity and all that is part of
my purpose has to expand.
but not yet.
i must heal while in stagnancy.
cannot move forward until
there is an understanding
of the mental fogginess,
and the confusion of the
muddle of my feelings.
stare and try to understand
if i see a reflection of who i am
in other people. i see blackness
where i pretend to see light.
words that mean nothing.
jokes and sneers with an
underlying layer of
a good thing with purpose knocks
at the door of Hopes That Are Disappearing.
i redecorate. the door becomes Hopes That
Were Waiting. i am filled with joy marred
by an accidental allowance of bitterness.
life with anxieties because i expect more.
i learn to meditate.
i reshape what i expect of me.