waiting (healing)

wait for the good to come.

aren’t i worthy?

excuses that fill my head

while laying restless at 3 AM.

love in all its forms must be

strengthened. career and

creativity and all that is part of

my purpose has to expand.

but not yet.

i must heal while in stagnancy.

cannot move forward until

there is an understanding

of the mental fogginess,

and the confusion of the

muddle of my feelings.

stare and try to understand

if i see a reflection of who i am

in other people. i see blackness

where i pretend to see light.

words that mean nothing.

jokes and sneers with an

underlying layer of

disastrous

disorganization.

a good thing with purpose knocks

at the door of Hopes That Are Disappearing.

i redecorate. the door becomes Hopes That

Were Waiting. i am filled with joy marred

by an accidental allowance of bitterness.

life with anxieties because i expect more.

i learn to meditate.

i reshape what i expect of me.

content.

(still waiting.)

 

 

Published by Jaz

xxxx.

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