beginnings

new beginnings wait for us to keep an open mind. they sit at the steps until we squeeze past them to the door. singing to us these impressive, impending triumphs. “be brave.” we don’t listen. we are rebel children without strategy. we live with anger. pride as our dishonest guide. black paint on our walls.Continue reading “beginnings”

waiting (healing)

wait for the good to come. aren’t i worthy? excuses that fill my head while laying restless at 3 AM. love in all its forms must be strengthened. career and creativity and all that is part of my purpose has to expand. but not yet. i must heal while in stagnancy. cannot move forward untilContinue reading “waiting (healing)”

compliments & comparisons

west coast paid pretty, east coast esteemed wit. and the south with our frizzy hair and our humility. boost us up as we are. sweet tea or pressed juice. coffee black, please. our perception of pretty is individualistic. we are who we claim we are, and that should be enough. expect us to compare ourselvesContinue reading “compliments & comparisons”

Our Darkness

share a secret with reflections of our darkness. “I’ve never told anyone this.” if i fix her, maybe i can fix the hollow parts of me. oh. i can just fix me? as the others were outside being carefree, he said, staring at the TV’s trauma unfold, “Happened to me, too…” not an overshare, aContinue reading “Our Darkness”

home

the idolization of nomads from a potted plant, freshly watered. peeking through the blinds at the adventures That Could Be. a scent carries around my leaves. a home I once visited. i feel comforted. musk, dust, and its loneliness sneaks through when i’ve decided to forget. no invitation back. my home is here in theContinue reading “home”

The Last Letter

only cry for special occasions. here’s a clarification of my tears. if i am not diplomatic, I am over emotional. we can’t have that. the thorough breakdown of the scenario. let me explain. just the highlighted sentences in the book of an undeveloped opportunity. scurry away. come back, blatantly detached. i’m an essayist, not aContinue reading “The Last Letter”

Catholic Guilt

6.27.18 A former busybody, persistently too involved with Others. My selflessness, just a facade: am I appearing kind enough? Sincerity melting away in the pool I am floating in. The sun heats the top of head. It doesn’t gleam. It taunts. On a quest for wisdom from the moon. (It hides from me.) Whisperings amongContinue reading “Catholic Guilt”

Red Hoodie

I’m nineteen, walking a dog at 2 AM. I spot Red Hoodie. He pauses. I walk faster. I make the block 3 times after. 1st time: ignores his conversation partner. 2nd time: is gone. 3rd time: follows me in his car. I look at the sidewalk to guide me back home. I’m twenty-four with aContinue reading “Red Hoodie”

Burden

stay quiet in fear you may actually be seen. shout harsh words, spitting into the air like punches may be thrown. still a scared, scarred little girl controlling her commanding attention now. thinking before speaking: aren’t I wise? an analytical rant, followed by an ignorant and privileged aside. canibesmallercanibesmallercani anywhere that will seize me upContinue reading “Burden”